Math has always been easy for me. Heck, I was top of my class in every grade except Grade 12. I had a feisty Calculus teacher that didn’t quite mesh with me. She was incredibly nice, intelligent and very very passionate, but she wasn’t very **patient**. And if there’s anything I’ve learned so far in my teaching program, it’s how patient we, as educators, HAVE to be. In any case, the traditional approach worked for me. I thrived in this setting. I could work on my own, or work collaboratively but all in all, math wasn’t very hard for me. I never dreaded the class, I never had a problem with learning new concepts, and please, like as if I had to study for my exams. Essentially, I’ve never had to think about the way I learned Math until now.

Like my previous post, the teaching program is all about innovation. Finding ways to engage, to hook, to make things fun but also balance it with deep understanding of the concept, of Math. One reason why this is extremely, extremely difficult for me to accomplish is the fact that I don’t even have a deep understanding of Math. My math teacher in my program is excellent. He’s passionate, he’s animated, he’s so incredibly intelligent. But the one thing that stands out when you meet him is how deep his understanding of math is. If his different math shirts don’t tell you right away, once he gets into a concept, his ability to explain it in 600 different ways, beginning with 200 different angles, using 150 different tools, makes it contact clear. M knows his stuff inside out, right side up. And as inspiring as this is, it makes me insecure and intimidated. How will I ever be able to find ways to explain different concepts when I only know one way. In fact, there are times when my peers have explained their understanding in an extremely different way and I’m left picking my jaw off the ground. **Say wwhhhattt?** Again, this is not a new idea. I’ve written before about my insecurities in regards to innovative thinking. However, as part of our assignment in which we look at blogs to help find inspiration or reflection, I found one that helped me with my anxiety.

http://ispeakmath.wordpress.com/2012/09/21/algebra-vocabulary-with-dry-erase-necklaces/

The blogger for this post essentially made up an activity to help her student better understand algebraic terms. She made dry-erase necklaces and made a little game for her students to not only learn the terms but be invested in learning the terms. Her blog spot is just a reflection of her own practices. Up to this point, I had somehow made myself believe that I needed to figure this innovative stuff on my own. I needed to come up with activities, find ways myself. I needed to be smarter, braver, more creative. I had not realized how much I had put on my own shoulders. I failed to realize that there were many many teachers that became innovative through the internet world. The blogger mentioned, adopted most of her activities from other educators. There were times where she was also lost. I guess that is what makes a teacher. **Not the ability have light bulb moments and have all things miraculously come to place. But instead, finding bulbs that already lit and figuring how to use them in your class. **

She found activities that were successful and adapted them for her own class. She herself was lost. It’s something I have to wrap my head around and start to accept. I’m not somehow weak just because** I’m lost.** It’s still very hard to accept help, or inspiration when up to this point, when it came to my education process, I never had to. I am relieved to know that I am allowed, or that I’m finally allowing myself, to seek inspiration, creatively, and innovation elsewhere. Perhaps along the way, I myself, will come across my own brand of innovation.